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  • Kick start ritual

    I posted this a while back on another forum. Thought ya'll might enjoy it here if you hadn't seen it before...........you guys using the buttons may not appreciate this as much as us old guys.


    "Kick-starting a Harley .."


    Go to the bike, fingers crossed, say a prayer.

    Make sure engine oil spot to know it still has oil.

    Look for tranny seal oil spot on the ground to ensure it has fluid.

    Turn on the choke.

    Kick the bike over a few times with the switch off to get it primed.

    Spin it through until you get compression.

    Turn the switch on.

    Kick until you have to wipe the snot from your face.

    Take a break to catch your breath, count the number of people who gathered around, try to look like this is standard procedure

    Realize you are now in middle of the street, roll the bike back onto driveway, that explains the laughter.

    Try to act as if you don't notice the crowd snickering.

    Think, must be flooded.

    Turn off the choke.

    Hold the throttle wide fucking open.

    Kick..kick...kick... wipe the tear/snot/sweat/nose bleed combo from your face.

    Cuss.

    Kick some more.

    Cuss.

    Ignore the old man who says......you know, back in the day.......

    Kick until you are back in the street again.

    Cuss.

    Don't even wipe, just swallow the combo.

    Check the points.

    Turn on the choke.

    Hold the throttle WFO, kick until the neighbors wife says.......you don't look so good.

    swallow.

    Check the plugs.

    Turn off the choke.

    Notice that you have never turned the gas on.

    #%@@*($^@^@&*#(#(@

    Turn gas on.

    Turn choke on.

    Prime engine.

    Threaten motorcycle.

    KICK !!

    Pick youself up from the ground in front of motorcycle.

    Put out the fire in the air cleaner.

    Remember to retard the timing this go-around.

    Turn on the ignition.

    Kick.

    Engine starts.......dies.

    swallow the combo.

    Kick.....success

    Check gas in tank, realize there is only about a quart, meaning you will have to go through this again in about 10 minutes.

    straddle bike, look both ways for traffic, realize you are in the middle of the street again.

    Ride away thinking........ screw those electric start pansies......I'm the real deal.
    __________________






    UF
    http://evylchopper.blogspot.com/

  • #2
    now that's fuggin funny right there, you must own an XLCH
    Ride in Peace Wndchsr


    www.my.doterra.com/jbush

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    • #3
      That's got to be the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I was laughing so hard...tears were jolting from them!!! Caught myself swallowing my snots too from laughing!!!

      :laughout:laughout:laughout:dan:dan:dan
      .
      2010 FLHX - Street Glide
      HERD MEMBER #00003

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      • #4
        Never had a kicker, but I had to pushstart my old bike for about 3 months...before I accepted that I needed a new battery...I don't think I could do the flying mount deal anymore..probably just flip over on my face.

        If I didn't get it started by the third try, I'd have to sit on the curb for a good 10-15 minutes, catching my breath...trying to look like it didn't bother me...
        Last edited by Motive; 06-23-2010, 04:00 PM.
        It's not "derailed", as long as the last post relates to the post above it...it's just on a different rail, heading into a more interesting direction

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Ironhead View Post
          now that's fuggin funny right there, you must own an XLCH

          A shovel, somehow it seems to know when it is just me or a crowd is watching.......




          UF
          http://evylchopper.blogspot.com/

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          • #6
            Funny
            HERD MEMBER #00027
            Riding for LT. Tim Campbell (LEO)
            In Memory of Rubberdown RIP HERD #00019
            In Memory of Betsy
            In Memory of Sabrina

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            • #7




              Truth so pure,I remember my uncle trying to start his and thats how it went most of the time. LOL
              2018 Road Glide
              Member #00014

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              • #8
                Yes, remember the nightmare well......remember picking my ass off the ground 15' away from the bike many times with my leg shoved up my ass from the backfire!
                OLD SKOOL BIKERS RULE, WE DO WHAT IT TAKES AND LIKE IT!!!
                With age comes wisdom, yeah right!
                FIRST "HERD BIKE OF THE MONTH CLUB MEMBER"
                RIP Rick.....Ride On Forever In Our Hearts My Brother!

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                • #9
                  lol i went to pa last week and my brothers shuvel had prob. he said it was running bad so i kicked it and it kicked me back right up my shin bone i asked what he had changed sence i built the bike for him he said nothing then he said he put a new ignition in fukcer he timed it wrong reset the timing now im pissed and hurt and gun shy now its back to the regular 3 kick and starts leg is still a mess tore the bottom of my ear. off ear ring hooked my bike hell taped it back on it healed the leg looks ugly
                  1989 classic 115 big motor 2001 ultra classic 21 on the front

                  HERD #00106

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Crocodile56 View Post
                    Yes, remember the nightmare well......remember picking my ass off the ground 15' away from the bike many times with my leg shoved up my ass from the backfire!
                    :laughout:laughoutthats a great visual Croc..your killin me!!:laughoutjust had the dirtbikes I had to kick start, not as bad but still could be a PITA!
                    HERDSTER #00115
                    Herdstock II survivor
                    Herdstock III survivor
                    Herdstock IV survivor
                    Herdstock VI survivor
                    MOO TON CREW member
                    I like the dog. If he can't eat it or f**k it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that

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                    • #11
                      From one Kicker to Another

                      That is so true it is Hilarious...Thanks for the morning Laugh!!

                      Chris (Steveston)
                      Herd # 93
                      Retired Navy Vet

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                      • #12
                        Good one:dan
                        HERD Member #114
                        2007 FLHTCU Ultra Classic
                        When all else fails, GET A BIGGER HAMMER!
                        If common sense was so common, wouldn't everyone have it?

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Crocodile56 View Post
                          Yes, remember the nightmare well......remember picking my ass off the ground 15' away from the bike many times with my leg shoved up my ass from the backfire!
                          I seen that once,,Poor dude broke his toe and his chin was a mess,, Bike threw him into a chain link fence,,,,
                          Herd #124
                          Age 10 and holding
                          Official Herd Poser

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                          • #14
                            Met a guy at the HD store a couple weeks ago who had a knuckle head chopper, kick start and all. The first time he fired it up after the restore it broke his leg with a kick back. He put an electric start, cool ride though. It looks like Fonda's bike in Easy Rider only a different color.
                            2010 Ultra Limited/Merlot/Cherry
                            Official HERD Member #00134

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