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Beer Troubleshooting Chart

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  • Beer Troubleshooting Chart

    Beer Troubleshooting Chart
    SYMPTOM - Feet cold and wet.
    SOLUTION - Glass being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

    SYMPTOM - Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
    SOLUTION - Glass empty. Get someone to buy you another beer.

    SYMPTOM - Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
    SOLUTION - You have fallen over backward. Have yourself lashed to bar.

    SYMPTOM - Mouth contains cigarette butts.
    SOLUTION - You have fallen forward. See above.

    SYMPTOM - Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
    SOLUTION - Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

    SYMPTOM - Floor blurred.
    SOLUTION - You are looking through bottom of empty glass. Get someone to buy you another beer.

    SYMPTOM - Floor moving.
    SOLUTION - You are being carried out. Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

    SYMPTOM - Room seems unusually dark.
    SOLUTION - Bar has closed. Confirm home address with bartender.

    SYMPTOM - Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
    SOLUTION - You are dancing on the table. Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

    SYMPTOM - Beer is crystal-clear
    SOLUTION - It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up. Punch him.

    SYMPTOM - Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
    SOLUTION - You have been in a fight. Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them

    SYMPTOM - Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
    SOLUTION - You've wandered into the wrong party. See if they have free beer.

    SYMPTOM - Your singing sounds distorted.
    SOLUTION - The beer is too weak. Have more beer until your voice improves.

    SYMPTOM - Don't remember the words to the song.
    SOLUTION - Beer is just right. Play air guitar.

    1986 FXR 2015 Road Glide

    Member #00014

  • #2
    Love this....

    2010 FLHX - Street Glide
    HERD MEMBER #00003


    • #3
      Ear Tag no. 00030
      MMMMOOoo"Official HERD Exalted Prime Example"...
      Do`nt need no stinking hay,We want fresh green spring grass
      If they get close enough kick em in the crotch,MMMOOOOooo
      The missing link


      • #4

        Good timing Mike, I just got done cleaning my tap to camp with the meister and pick up a barrel on the way. Party on the river this weekend, all invited!


        • #5

          Official HERD Member #00230

          Westchester County, NY
          '17 FLHXS Street Glide Special


          • #6
            Ride in Peace Wndchsr



            • #7
              OFFICIAL HERD MEMBER #83
              2014 FLHXS
              U.S. NAVY Veteran


              • #8
                A.K.A. Chad
                Official Ear Tag #163
                Official Member Paracord Posse
                2012 FLHTK Ultra Limited
                "I talk a lot but don't say much, and I know it..."
                "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."