some jokes

[Dixiecrat]

In South Los Angeles , a 4-plex was destroyed by a fire.

A Nigerian family of six con artists lived on the
first floor, and all six died in the fire.

An Islamic group of seven welfare cheats,
all illegally in the country from Kenya , lived
on the second floor, and they, too, all perished
in the fire.

Six LA, Hispanic, Gang Banger, ex-cons,
lived on the 3rd floor and they, too, died.

A lone, white couple lived on the top floor.
The couple survived the fire.


Jesse Jackson, John Burris and Al Sharpton were
furious. They flew into LA and met with the fire
chief, on camera. They loudly demanded
to know why the Blacks, Black Muslims and
Hispanics all died in the fire and only the
white couple lived?



The fire chief said, "They were at work"

[Boss]

Like me right now!

[Dixiecrat]

A girl was visiting her blond friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blond responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.. Her friend said,
'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOO......,' answered the blond. 'They're watch dogs'!

WHICH ? FLORIDA or THE MOON

Two blonds living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blond says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther way....
Florida or the Moon?' The other blond turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blond for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK

There's this blond out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts,
'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blond looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more.
She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blond.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that
the blond behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, fhe trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blond yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

IN A VACUUM

A blond was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

CAR TROUBLE

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a little while, it is idling smoothly...
She asks him, 'What's the story?
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She says, 'How often do I have to do that?'

[Boss]

You are on a roll this evening......LOL Haaaaaaaaa! I like the broken finger one...

[MrMarty51]

The "Crap in the Carbuerator" is hilarious.

[Boss]

Don't do it Marty! Don't do it.......I know you are a red headed child but that's close enough!

[MrMarty51]

Don't do it Marty! Don't do it.......I know you are a red headed child but that's close enough!

Heeeheeeheeee,just gotta try it just once.

[krcampbell]

Two blonds are walking down the sidewalk when one see's a compact (makeup mirror) laying on the ground. She picks it up, opens it and says "hum, she looks familiar". The second blond says "let me see, ---- oh you silly bitch, it's me".

A guy who works in an office (cubicle) wants to go home early but has no leave, so he hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss walks thru and see's the guy and says "what are you doing". The man relies "I am a light bulb". The boss says "you are stressed out, go home for the day and get some rest". The man quickly leaves the office. A blond lady in the next cubicle grabs her purse and starts to leave as well when the boss says "where are you going". The blond replies "home, I can't work in the dark".

[StoneCrab]

he he he

[B-Man]

Dixie, that's funny stuff!!!