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  • Lawyer Jokes

    Whats 9 inchs long and hangs down from an azzhole?

    A lawyers tie

    Why won't sharks eat lawyers?

    professional courtesy
    HERD#00004
    *disclaimer: I am not an expert. Like everyone else I have an opinion.

    HS1 and HS2 Attendee
    http://forum.oakislandtreasure.co.uk/

    Paracord Crew Member

  • #2
    There is nothing better than some good lawyer jokes...

    What do you call a bus Full of lawyers going ov a cliff with an empty seat? A missed opportunity!
    The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse, will be pretending I'm not excited!

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    • #3
      Originally posted by JimP View Post
      There is nothing better than some good lawyer jokes...

      What do you call a bus Full of lawyers going ov a cliff with an empty seat? A missed opportunity!
      I heard it was a good start...........
      Lee....... If ya ain't the lead dog... the view never changes....

      Can weld anything but a broken heart

      ......It's a rebar thing.....
      HERD member # 00015

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      • #4
        Q. How do you tell if a lawyer is lying ?

        A. His lips are moving..


        Q. Why do they bury lawyers 16 feet down when they die ?

        A. Because deep down, they might be good people...
        Lee....... If ya ain't the lead dog... the view never changes....

        Can weld anything but a broken heart

        ......It's a rebar thing.....
        HERD member # 00015

        Comment


        • #5
          An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. "I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?" "It's $50,000," the lawyer said. "But why? You'll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?" "That's my business! Get me the course!" Four days later, the old man got his law degree. His lawyer was at his bedside, making sure his bill would be paid. Suddenly the old man was racked with fits of coughing and it was clear that this would be the end. Still curious, the lawyer leaned over and said, "please, before it's too late, tell me why you wanted to to get a law degree so badly before you died?" In a faint whisper, as he breathed his last, the old man said, "One less lawyer . . ."
          H1E2R8D

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          • #6
            Q: What's a female Lawyer use for birth control?

            A: Her personality.

            _____


            If you find a criminal defense Lawyer drowning in a lake, do you:

            a.) Balance your check book

            b.) Go bowling

            c.) see a movie

            ___________________________

            Santa Clause, the Easter bunny and an honest Lawyer were telling a little boy that if he was good, he'd get presents for Christmas, Jelly beans for Easter and a new bicycle for his birthday.

            Q: How did the little boy know they were lying?

            A: There's no such thing as an honest Lawyer.

            _____________________________

            Q: What's the difference between a Lawyer and a bucket of shiit?

            A: The bucket.

            __________________________________

            Q: What's the difference betwen a dead racoon and a dead lawyer, in the middle of the road?

            A: There's skid marks leading up to the racoon.

            ________________________________
            Last edited by Dave63; 07-19-2010, 08:54 PM.
            **Note: The technical info I provide is suggestive. I am not a perfeshunel.

            "No two motorcycles should be the same. Your bike should be based on your creativity, and whatever's going on in your life at that time..." Jesse James


            HERD Member #10

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            • #7
              99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
              There is a special place in our hearts... Carved out for our memories
              R.I.P. RubberDown
              R.I.P. James "Jimbo"
              Reese

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              • #8
                Q: How can You tell if an attourney is well hung???

                A: When ya cant get Yur fingers between the noose and His neck.
                Ear Tag no. 00030

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                • #9
                  :):):):)
                  OFFICIAL HERD MEMBER #83
                  2014 FLHXS
                  U.S. NAVY Veteran

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                  • #10
                    Appalachian Redneck

                    "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used and worn out, loudly proclaiming, "WOW!!! WHAT A RIDE!!!"

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                    • #11
                      Good One Marty,,,,LOL!!!!!!
                      Chris (Steveston)
                      Herd # 93
                      Retired Navy Vet

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                      • #12
                        LOVE IT!!!!
                        Todd Pearson
                        Herd #118
                        AMA #366336
                        SERA #107 (Southern Enduro Riders Assoc)
                        08 FLHX, TW555's, TTS Mastertune

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