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  • Nag, nag, nag...

    An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a
    stay of execution.
    His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was
    feeling worn out and depressed.

    As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him

    about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this?



    Where have you been?
    Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

    Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he
    poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in
    the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged
    himself up the stairs.

    While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was
    told that her husband's client, James Wright,




    had been granted a stay of execution after all.
    Wright would not be hanged tonight.

    Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to
    go up stairs and give him the good news.

    As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her
    husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

    'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

    He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN,

    DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!
    Official "Herd Booze taste tester!"

    Member #0006 :babe

    "Lead paint chips are chewy AND sweet......" In memory of Rick.

  • #2
    Josh #00042
    2019 Road Glide Ultra

    R.I.P. Dad 1951-2015

    Comment


    • #3
      :) :)
      .
      2010 FLHX - Street Glide
      HERD MEMBER #00003

      Comment


      • #4
        The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse, will be pretending I'm not excited!

        Comment


        • #5
          The Day the Penis asked for a Raise


          I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

          I do physical labor.

          I work at great depths.

          I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

          I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

          I work in a damp environment.

          I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

          I work in high temperatures.

          My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
          Sincerely,


          P. Niss


          The Response

          Dear P. Niss:

          After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

          You do not work 8 hours straight.

          You fall asleep after brief work periods.

          You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
          You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

          You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

          You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

          You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
          Correct protective clothing.

          You will retire well before you are 50.

          You are unable to work double shifts.

          You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

          And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


          Sincerely,

          V. Gina
          Official "Herd Booze taste tester!"

          Member #0006 :babe

          "Lead paint chips are chewy AND sweet......" In memory of Rick.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by V-Girl View Post
            The Day the Penis asked for a Raise


            I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

            I do physical labor.

            I work at great depths.

            I plunge headfirst into everything I do.

            I do not get weekends or public holidays off.

            I work in a damp environment.

            I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.

            I work in high temperatures.

            My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
            Sincerely,


            P. Niss


            The Response

            Dear P. Niss:

            After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

            You do not work 8 hours straight.

            You fall asleep after brief work periods.

            You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
            You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.

            You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.

            You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.

            You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
            Correct protective clothing.

            You will retire well before you are 50.

            You are unable to work double shifts.

            You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.

            And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.


            Sincerely,

            V. Gina

            Like I said earlier.....
            The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse, will be pretending I'm not excited!

            Comment


            • #7
              :watching





              :):):)
              U.S. Army "Retired"
              (Disabled Veteran)

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by gruss View Post
                :watching





                :):):)
                Official "Herd Booze taste tester!"

                Member #0006 :babe

                "Lead paint chips are chewy AND sweet......" In memory of Rick.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Think I got a song title now How does "DEATH WILLIE" sound to name a song on.

                  Bad willie hidin from the man he done- dadadadadaaaaa
                  THE NEGATIVE ONE no better don't click
                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-c...-ts=1422579428
                  How's my Spelin, CALL 1-800-BOSS to report my bad spelizin

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Good ones V!
                    Patti, HERD Georgia Girl #113

                    RubberDown/Double Secret Agent #19 and Ozzyrral #213...RIP
                    We will ride again wndchsr...
                    'If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.' - Katherine Hepburn

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      or maybe " if you wanna ride,, ride the death willie"
                      dadadadaadada
                      THE NEGATIVE ONE no better don't click
                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-c...-ts=1422579428
                      How's my Spelin, CALL 1-800-BOSS to report my bad spelizin

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by vlade View Post
                        Think I got a song title now How does "DEATH WILLIE" sound to name a song on.

                        Bad willie hidin from the man he done- dadadadadaaaaa
                        this is why I am your groupie..
                        sigh
                        sigpicHERD medic! #00039
                        I am Jase's precious
                        If you are what you eat, then I'm delicious!
                        I miss you Rick, you goofball
                        HPH- The Legend

                        Comment


                        • #13




                          Great V, thanks
                          Those who say it can't be done should get in the way of those doing it.
                          Patriot Guard Riders # 209,359
                          Official HERD Member #00139

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Thats was funny, made me laugh out loud.

                            Originally posted by V-Girl View Post
                            An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a
                            stay of execution.
                            His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was
                            feeling worn out and depressed.

                            As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him

                            about, 'What time of night to be getting home is this?



                            Where have you been?
                            Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.

                            Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he
                            poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in
                            the bathtub, pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged
                            himself up the stairs.

                            While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was
                            told that her husband's client, James Wright,




                            had been granted a stay of execution after all.
                            Wright would not be hanged tonight.

                            Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to
                            go up stairs and give him the good news.

                            As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her
                            husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.

                            'They're not hanging Wright tonight,' she said.

                            He whirled around and screamed, 'FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOMAN,

                            DON'T YOU EVER STOP?!
                            HERD#00004
                            *disclaimer: I am not an expert. Like everyone else I have an opinion.

                            HS1 and HS2 Attendee
                            http://forum.oakislandtreasure.co.uk/

                            Paracord Crew Member

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Or it could be wet dead willie
                              Ear Tag no. 00030

                              Comment

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