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  • Anger management

    Anger management

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    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.

    A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude .

    When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an ***hole!" and hung up.

    I wrote his number down with the word '***hole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ***hole!" It always cheered me up.

    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic '***hole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi,this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ***hole!" and hung up.

    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first ***hole (I had is number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW ***hole, too.

    I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"He said, "Yes, it is" I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow ranch, and the car's parked right out in front."

    I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

    I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

    He said, "Yes?"

    I said, "Don, you're an ***hole!"

    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.

    Now, when I had a problem, I had two ***holes to call.

    Then I came up with an idea. I called ***hole #1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an ***hole!" (But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you still there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, "Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said, "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "***hole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow ranch, I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ***hole," and hung up.

    Then I called ***hole #2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, ***hole," He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ***," I answered, "Well, ***hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax.

    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two ***holes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

    NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work
    Herd member #85

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  • #2
    :) That's a great strategy to Anger Management!!!

    :):)
    .
    2010 FLHX - Street Glide
    HERD MEMBER #00003

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    • #3
      Love that one!!!

      :laughout:laughout

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      • #4
        :laughout:laughout:laughout:laughout:laughout
        Ear Tag no. 00030

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        • #5
          That is absolutely awesome!!!
          Live Hard & Die Strong

          Knowledge lies in the blood shed by men

          "Only the dead have seen the end of War"

          Official HERD Member #00140

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          • #6
            :laughout
            OLD SKOOL BIKERS RULE, WE DO WHAT IT TAKES AND LIKE IT!!!
            With age comes wisdom, yeah right!
            FIRST "HERD BIKE OF THE MONTH CLUB MEMBER"
            RIP Rick.....Ride On Forever In Our Hearts My Brother!

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            • #7
              Dang, I had better start being nicer to people I don't know......
              The hardest part about a Zombie Apocalypse, will be pretending I'm not excited!

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              • #8
                http://www.neilrogers.com/sounds/bonr1991/37.mp3

                Strat, since you posted this I've had a song in my head all day. Here is a song that was one of my dad's favorites. It's a good one. HH may know it ..... wave

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                • #9
                  That's funny as hell Strat! Relieved stress just reading it!

                  Great song Boss Lady.
                  H1E2R8D

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                  • #10
                    :):):)LMFAO!!!
                    wyldman72

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                    • #11
                      That is freaking hilarious
                      Official HERD Member #00138

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                      • #12
                        hell of a good story and the girls liked it too.


                        Never heard that one before Boss Lady but it's a funny song.I might need to pick the right crowd to play for.
                        2018 Road Glide
                        Member #00014

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                        • #13
                          :laughout:):fatbob
                          OFFICIAL HERD MEMBER #83
                          2014 FLHXS
                          U.S. NAVY Veteran

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Mrs. Boss View Post
                            http://www.neilrogers.com/sounds/bonr1991/37.mp3

                            Strat, since you posted this I've had a song in my head all day. Here is a song that was one of my dad's favorites. It's a good one. HH may know it ..... wave
                            For some reason I can't open that link. Whats the name of the song Mrs. Boss?
                            Herd member #85

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                            • #15
                              Now that made me laugh. Funny stuff. Thanks. When I need a laugh I'll read it again.:laughout:laughout
                              2010 Ultra Limited/Merlot/Cherry
                              Official HERD Member #00134

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