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  • Are you a Democrat, a Republician, or a Southerner?

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
    (This is a joke, not a political statement, folks.)








    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    Democrat's Answer:


    · Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    • Could we run away?
    • What does my wife think?
    • What about the kids?
    • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    • What does the law say about this situation?
    • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    • Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    • Should I call 9-1-1?
    • Why is this street so deserted?
    • We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
    • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
    • This is all so confusing!
    ...........................................
    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!
    .......................................

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click, click, click…. (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click, click, click.

    Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

    Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

    Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
    OLD SKOOL BIKERS RULE, WE DO WHAT IT TAKES AND LIKE IT!!!
    With age comes wisdom, yeah right!
    FIRST "HERD BIKE OF THE MONTH CLUB MEMBER"
    RIP Rick.....Ride On Forever In Our Hearts My Brother!

  • #2
    :):):)
    U.S. Army "Retired"
    (Disabled Veteran)

    Comment


    • #3
      Good one Croc...Gotta Love those Southern Boys....Now that there is funny......Glenn

      erboxerboxerbox
      Where does it say Humpty Dumpty was an Egg?
      Official HERD Member #00127 - Glenn
      Growing old is not for Sissies..........

      Comment


      • #4
        :good
        Originally posted by Crocodile56 View Post
        Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?
        (This is a joke, not a political statement, folks.)








        Here is a little test that will help you decide.

        You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

        Democrat's Answer:


        · Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
        • Does the man look poor or oppressed?
        • Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
        • Could we run away?
        • What does my wife think?
        • What about the kids?
        • Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
        • What does the law say about this situation?
        • Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
        • Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
        • Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
        • Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
        • If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
        • Should I call 9-1-1?
        • Why is this street so deserted?
        • We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
        • Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
        • I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
        • This is all so confusing!
        ...........................................
        Republican's Answer:

        BANG!
        .......................................

        Southerner's Answer:

        BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click, click, click…. (Sounds of reloading)
        BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click, click, click.

        Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '

        Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

        Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!
        Appalachian Redneck

        "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used and worn out, loudly proclaiming, "WOW!!! WHAT A RIDE!!!"

        Comment


        • #5
          I always knew I was a true southern redneck, now I have proof.
          Herd Member #87
          US Navy Veteran

          Comment


          • #6
            :check6:check6:check6
            2018 Road Glide
            Member #00014

            Comment


            • #7
              funny stuff Croc!!
              OFFICIAL HERD MEMBER #83
              2014 FLHXS
              U.S. NAVY Veteran

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