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Understanding engineers

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  • Understanding engineers

    Subject: Engineers


    Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when
    one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

    The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
    minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
    threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what
    you want."

    The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
    clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."


    Understanding Engineers Two

    To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
    To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
    To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.


    Understanding Engineers Three

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
    particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with
    those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

    The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
    golf!"
    The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with
    him."
    He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of
    us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

    The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
    firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
    year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

    The group fell silent for a moment.

    The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
    for them tonight."
    The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
    colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
    The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"


    Understanding Engineers Four

    What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
    engineers?

    Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.


    Understanding Engineers Five


    The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
    The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
    The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
    The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"


    Understanding Engineers Six

    Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must
    have designed the human body.

    One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
    Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system
    has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No,
    actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would make a nose that runs and feet that smell?"

    Understanding Engineers Seven

    Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
    Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
    features yet.

    Understanding Engineers Eight

    An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him
    and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He
    bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

    The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
    princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."

    Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
    into his pocket.

    Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
    beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
    anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

    The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
    girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
    Where does it say Humpty Dumpty was an Egg?
    Official HERD Member #00127 - Glenn
    Growing old is not for Sissies..........

  • #2

    Ain't that the truth!
    OLD SKOOL BIKERS RULE, WE DO WHAT IT TAKES AND LIKE IT!!!
    With age comes wisdom, yeah right!
    FIRST "HERD BIKE OF THE MONTH CLUB MEMBER"
    RIP Rick.....Ride On Forever In Our Hearts My Brother!

    Comment


    • #3
      Yes, It's true.......:)
      U.S. Army "Retired"
      (Disabled Veteran)

      Comment


      • #4
        I have 6 double E engineers in the lab today. This is going on the bulletin board.

        Thanks gtoracer!!
        Mike Tickle
        Herd # One hundred
        2012 Ultra Limited
        USAF Retired (SMSgt)

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        • #5
          :):):):)
          OFFICIAL HERD MEMBER #83
          2014 FLHXS
          U.S. NAVY Veteran

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