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  • Sent from a friend...

    1. I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban,
    beard and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind.

    2. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Rick woke up to find
    himself next to a really ugly woman. That's when he realized he had made it
    home safely.

    3. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Para-Olympics
    after they tested positive for WD40.

    4. A boy asks his granny, "Have you seen my pills, they were labeled
    LSD?" Granny replies, "F**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the
    kitchen?"

    5. Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my
    pretty face or my sexy body?" Hubby looks her up and down and replies,
    "Your sense of humor!"

    6. The wife's back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex
    movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her
    part.

    7. I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap
    could spell disaster.

    8. I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night, or
    "foreplay" as she likes to call it.

    9. After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife
    were going to commit suicide yesterday. But strangely enough, once she
    killed herself, I started to feel a lot better. So I thought, "Screw it,
    soldier on!"

    10. I woke up this morning at 8, and could sense something was
    wrong. I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor,
    not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then I remembered
    McDonald's serves breakfast until 11:30.

    11. Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the
    fair last night, and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel.

    12. The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.
    I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!"

    13. My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door,
    she screamed, "I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!" "Oh," I
    replied, "so now you want me to stay!"

    14. A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants
    come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
    Spread the word! Learn about Jury Nullification! Help take back our country from
    our corrupt: judicial system, police system, and government! http://www.fija.org

    My website

    FTP FTF ACAB TOSIAR

  • #2
    Haaaa! Love number 14!!!!

    :laughout
    .
    2010 FLHX - Street Glide
    HERD MEMBER #00003

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    • #3
      :laughout.......
      Crazy people don't know they're crazy, I know I'm crazy therefore I'm not crazy, isn't that crazy.....

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      • #4
        LOL good ones
        1986 FXR 2015 Road Glide

        Member #00014

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        • #5
          There are some great ones in there.
          A.K.A. Chad
          Official Ear Tag #163
          Official Member Paracord Posse
          2012 FLHTK Ultra Limited
          "I talk a lot but don't say much, and I know it..."
          "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog."

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          • #6
            those are funny!!
            Miles are on a road map, close to home is here
            Very Proud member #99
            Official Herd Hugger
            Count your life by smiles, not tears:
            Count your age by friends, not years.
            Old bikers don't gray, they CHROME OUT!!

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