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Murder at Wal Mart

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  • Murder at Wal Mart

    Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a man decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

    A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure who went by the sobriquet 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

    The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he didn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie
    insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside. Artie sighed and rolled his eyes, reluctantly agreeing to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

    A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super Wal-Mart
    store. There, he surprised her in the produce department & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

    However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the store.

    Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

    The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared...

    'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ WAL-MART!
    2018 Road Glide
    Member #00014

  • #2
    Funny Stuff "I Think"...LOL

    Oh! That is Dumb!!! :laughout
    Chris (Steveston)
    Herd # 93
    Retired Navy Vet


    • #3
      Should of been 2 for $0.97 -
      2010 FLHX - Street Glide - 136,700 miles
      HERD MEMBER #00003


      • #4
        Where does it say Humpty Dumpty was an Egg?
        Official HERD Member #00127 - Glenn
        Growing old is not for Sissies..........


        • #5
          Look who's doing the chiggen dance.....LOL
          2010 FLHX - Street Glide - 136,700 miles
          HERD MEMBER #00003


          • #6
            What's your points Happy?:):):):):laughout:laughout:laughout:laughout


            • #7
              oh jeez... lol..
              sigpicHERD medic! #00039
              I am Jase's precious
              If you are what you eat, then I'm delicious!
              I miss you Rick, you goofball
              HPH- The Legend


              • #8
                Appalachian Redneck

                "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely, in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used and worn out, loudly proclaiming, "WOW!!! WHAT A RIDE!!!"


                • #9
                  Sounds like a joke a guy here at work would tell! lol
                  09 FLHRCI
                  Herd Member #00045


                  • #10
                    OFFICIAL HERD MEMBER #83
                    2014 FLHXS
                    U.S. NAVY Veteran